Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
