see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
