You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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