from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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