But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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