I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
