Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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