i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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