he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
