I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
