I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
