Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
