I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
