my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
