Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
