still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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