Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.

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(347): View more from New York

i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties

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(703): View more from Virginia

I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically

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(514): View more from Quebec

in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.

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(703): View more from Virginia

*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*

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