Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
