Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
high people should be assigned attendants
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We have so much sex to catch up on
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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