You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
