watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
