We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
