he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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