I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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