Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
