They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
