Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
