My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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