dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
