What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
