I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
