I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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