im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
