I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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