"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
