You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
