I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
