Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
