My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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