So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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