Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
