My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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