just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
