Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
