Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
