So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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