I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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