I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
