it wasn't lemon gatorade
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
