Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
