that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize