did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
