And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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