Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
