I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
